Violence in Dating
Main Office: 214 West 2nd Street • Marshfield, WI 54449 View All Locations

Violence in Dating

1-smHOW CAN I TELL IF MY BOYFRIEND WILL BECOME VIOLENT?

Physical violence to another person usually has early signs such as: verbal abuse, bullying of others – particularly smaller and weaker persons, cruelty to animals, blaming others for one’s own problems/faults, general “macho” behavior.

IF HE HIT ME ONCE WILL HE HIT ME AGAIN?

Sometimes, men who batter women only do it one time; but, more often the battering becomes more severe and more frequent. There may be many promises made by the man who batters, never to abuse her again, and the woman may threaten to break off the relationship if it ever happens again. “Actions speak louder than words”. If the woman does not follow through on her threat to end the relationship, it is viewed by the man who batters as a “bluff”. Her threats become meaningless – her continued presence says to him that it’s okay to continue the violence.

WHY DOES A YOUNG WOMAN CONTINUE TO SEE THE MAN WHO ABUSES HER?

There are many factors involved: His promises to never hit her again may be very convincing; she may feel she is the one and only person who understands him and can help him; she many “block out” and minimize the battering episodes and focus on the good times together; she may become falsely convinced that she causes his outburst or that she deserves the battering; she may be truly afraid and in terror of what he would do if she broke off the relationship.

2-smIF HIS FAMILY IS VIOLENT, WILL HE BECOME VIOLENT AFTER WE’RE MARRIED?

Some children grow up in violent homes and, having seen the violence and the horrible consequences, will turn away from the violence. Many continue the violent patterns from the models of their parents. Men who batter often were abused themselves as children and/or witnessed their mothers being battered.

MY BOYFRIEND SHOWS VERY LITTLE RESPECT FOR ME AT TIMES, AND HE HAS SLAPPED ME – BUT HE IS VERY LOVING. I’M CONFUSED. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Men who batter women are the “Dr. Jekyll – Mr. Hyde” type. There is usually a recognizable “Cycle of Abuse”, with three stages, in violent relationships. The first stage is tension building, the second stage is the actual battering, and the third is the “I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll never do it again” stage. In general, the battering becomes more severe and more frequent unless intervention occurs.

TALK WITH AN ADVOCATE

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Wood County Personal Development Center – 715-384-2971

Clark County Personal Development Center – 715-743-6401

Marshfield Office

214 West 2nd Street
Marshfield, WI 54449

Phone: (715) 384-2971
After Hours Crisis Intervention: (715) 384-5555
Fax: (715) 384-7826

Office Hours: Monday - Friday 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. or by appointment

Neillsville Office

400 Hewett Street
Suite 108
Neillsville, WI 54456

Phone: (715) 743-6401
Toll Free: (877) 743-6262
24 hr. Crisis Line: (715) 937-1193
Fax: (715) 384-7826