Behaviors Common to an Abuser
Main Office: 214 West 2nd Street • Marshfield, WI 54449 View All Locations

Behaviors Common to an Abuser

We refer to those signs as “RED FLAGS” and recommend that you stop and take a good look at the relationship before proceeding.

  • Witnessed abuse or was abused as a child. (If a person grows up seeing his/her father regularly abuse his/her mother, he/she is apt to think of this as normal behavior. If he/she was violently abused by his/her parents it is possible that he/she will either be a victim or an abuser, or both.)
  • Displays violence against other people, things and/or animals.
  • Enjoys watching violence in media – enjoys pornography.
  • Angers easily, resorts to violence and refuses to take responsibility for actions: blaming it on loss of control due to the effects of alcohol/drugs, stress, frustrations or victim’s behavior.
  • Abuses chemicals: alcohol – illegal drugs – prescription drugs.
  • Jealousy: of friends, your family, job, etc…
  • Humiliates you in public.
  • Isolation: Doesn’t allow you to see your friends or family, needs to know your whereabouts constantly, expects you to spend all your free time with him/her.
  • Dual personality – Jekyll and Hyde.
  • Inconsistent work/job history.
  • You fear when he/she becomes angry at you – not making him/her angry becomes important.
  • Definite male/female roles; Men are in control, strong, show no emotions; Women should be quiet, passive, feminine.
  • Ownership/Possessiveness: “Can’t live without you”, “You are the world to me”.
  • Pressures you to marry him/her or live with him/her.
  • No regard for the law; drives recklessly.
  • You’re afraid of what he/she might do if you end the relationship.
  • Has reputation as a “fighter,” and has a record or arrests. A person who frequently punches walls, breaks objects or throws things in a rage will possibly abuse someday.
  • He/she doesn’t want you to know about his/her past.
  • Speak negatively about ex-relationships.
  • Treats opposite sex disrespectfully.
  • Criticizes you often: Your appearance, hair, weight, clothes, etc…
  • Physical abuse during courtship is a guarantee of later abuse.

Battering is a learned behavior; therefore, it can be unlearned. The preferred corrective method involves programs designed especially for abusers. They must be preceded by mechanisms that protect the battered person (shelter/supportive services.) Key elements of successful abuser programs are:

The abuser is held completely responsible for the violence and for changing his/her behavior to end it. The focus is on teaching how to choose and develop nonviolent behaviors, emotions, and attitudes.

Marshfield Office

214 West 2nd Street
Marshfield, WI 54449

Phone: (715) 384-2971
After Hours Crisis Intervention: (715) 384-5555
Fax: (715) 384-7826

Office Hours: Monday - Friday 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. or by appointment

Neillsville Office

400 Hewett Street
Suite 108
Neillsville, WI 54456

Phone: (715) 743-6401
Toll Free: (877) 743-6262
24 hr. Crisis Line: (715) 937-1193
Fax: (715) 384-7826